I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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