I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
