I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize