Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize