Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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