The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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