We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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