im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
