He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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