he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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