Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
