You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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