You work out of a Hotel?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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