thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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