Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
