the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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