Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
