never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
