Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
