So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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