Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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