when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
