I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
