New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
