I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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