Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
