so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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