a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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