Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
