Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
