toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
