she sounds like chewbacca in bed
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
