I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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