erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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