I accidentally burped into my bong.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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