why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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