he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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