Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
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