My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
