is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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