Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
