Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
