Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
