I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
