Already got asked if we're dating
You're my little dorito
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize