She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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