Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
