my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
