your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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