help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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