Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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