He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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