I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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