I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Nicole vs. Life
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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