Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
