Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Barsexuality is the new black.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
