So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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